Lessons From Babysitting

1. Any lack of cuteness in a small child is definitely because they missed a nap.

2. What nobody tells you about pregnancy is that it makes all your ligaments and basically everything else relax so your hips can spread, but a side effect of this is constant sinus problems, carpal tunnel syndrome, and crying. (This is according to the woman I'm sitting for, who is 5 months pregnant with her second child and opened the door in tears and wearing a wrist brace, saying, "Don't worry, I'm just pregnant.")

3. Even the tastiest, least gross-looking food (avocado, couscous) looks really disgusting when it's all over somebody's face.

4. If the kid wants to feed himself the yogurt, just let him do it even if it slides off the spoon, because you're going to have to clean up the mess he made with the couscous anyway.

5. The secret of diaper changing: the reason diaper changing is worth it (and not that bad) is that when they're wearing a clean diaper, they aren't radiating poo smells all the time. Not smelling like poo = much cuter and more lovable child.

6. All these things make having a kid sound awful. And then there are those moments when they have taken a nap, and eaten lunch, and had a diaper change, and they're dancing around to one of those mats that plays really annoying songs when you push the buttons, and they think the animal noises you're making to keep from going crazy are the most entertaining thing since Peter Rabbit - and you kind of see why people do it.