A New Top Summer Read!

Among many adventures (including Ethiopian food and failed attempts at getting into places with college ID's) I had in the Cities yesterday, I went to Midway Used & Rare Books, on University & Snelling in St. Paul. For the New Yorkers out there, this is like the Strand with fewer miles and waaay more comic books. Basically, a great way to blow far too much money on cheap books.

And it is there that I unearthed, in the $2.50-per-book bargain basement, the next great classic of our age.

That is, Mark E. Rogers' The Sword of Samurai Cat.

I was skeptical of this book. It was in the young adult section. I thought it would be really lame and funny. However, when I pulled it off the shelf I quickly realized that this was no trivial piece of literature. It follows the adventures of Miaowara Tomokato - yes, he is a cat, and yes, he appears on the cover and inside illustrations in full samurai armor - and his nephew Shiro. In the first twenty pages alone (which is honestly all I have read so far), our fearless hero defeats not only Meister Rodgerz and his traveling Nazi performance of "The Reich of Make-Believe," but also does battle with a horde of undead Communists. Before you think too hard about the political message in this, consider that the author is clearly sympathetic to his victims:

"'But seriously folks,' der Kommissar went on, 'Why is a Muscovite putting his clothes on like what you get in a salad?'

'I don't know, why?' a dozen decomposing voices asked.

'Because it's a Russian dressing!'

Tomokato opened fire again, blowing another five hundred cadavers into stench sauce. When he relented, squinting though the gunsmoke, there wasn't a single zombie left on its feet.

'Gee, Uncle-san,' Shiro said, 'I kind of liked that last joke.'

'You will never be a true samurai,' said Tomokato."

Genius. And this book is obviously not only meant for children, as it contains such erudite references and imaginative bits of imagery as, "Gleaming wickedly, Eisensteins montaged."

The author is even so humble as to admit his own failings in recounting such an epic tale: "The carnage that followed was indescribable - so I won't describe it."

And with that, I will take a lesson from the sage and enlightened Mark E. Rogers, and not attempt what I cannot achieve. I cannot fully encompass in one blog post the utter magnificence that is The Sword of Samurai Cat. You will just have to read it for yourselves.